One of the most gratifying things about being a Christian marriage and family therapist for the past 30 years is hearing testimonials of couples who say that learning our Soul Healing Love Model saved their marriage or changed their family interaction for the better. Over the past three decades we have heard such things as:
“You were our last hope. We practically hated each other and you helped us learn to forgive and love again.”
“Your help made me see that I was a very critical father, much like my dad. You helped me change my relationship with my own children and now we have a great relationship because of it.”
“You saved our marriage from the brink of divorce. We had already seen an attorney and were moving in that direction when we saw you. The Soul Healing Love Model changed our perspective on marriage. We still see marriage as hard work, but we have the tools to do that work. And we are so grateful!”
Hearing these statements is wonderful! Here is one that is that particularly stands out to me.
“We have been married for 35 years. We did not have a bad marriage, but it wasn’t good either. We did not talk or connect. After the kids left home we had nothing in common. In the evenings I would do my thing and my husband would do his, usually in separate parts of the house. I wanted more and he wanted me to stop wanting more. We attended a Soul Healers Couples workshop, and he said he thought connection like that wasn’t realistic for him. I felt trapped. I did not want a divorce because my husband was a good man, but I was so lonely. I finally persuaded him to come to counseling even though he felt like it was sheer torture. You guys made it less ‘painful’ for him and in time he began to talk. Eventually he started sharing from his heart. It took time and a lot of energy to change our old patterns, but now we have a relationship that is very healing for both of us.
On our 35th anniversary he said an amazing thing to me. Now remember this is a man that could not share feelings of any kind much less sentimentality for years. He said, ‘For years I had a hard time buying you a card for our anniversary. I would read a few romantic cards and feel very uncomfortable. Then I’d find the funny cards with the doggie couples doing various tasks around the house. I would make my purchase and quickly leave the store. This year I found myself taking my time reading all the cards with statements of deep love and care. I found just the right card that said how much I love, respect, and appreciate you and could not wait to see your face when you opened it. I could not believe I was able to give you a card with all the romance and deep feelings. I have always wanted to be one of those deeply in-love old couples, and now we are one of them!’
I don’t know who was more excited about the transformation in this couple: the husband for learning to share, the wife for hearing it, or me for being around to experience this joy with them. It is so amazing what God can do when we are willing to learn and grow!
